Don’t get me wrong, I am but no means ‘moaning’ (as such) about our relationship. Everything considered, we are really lucky to be in the position we are and to see eachother as often as we do.
We also really do appreciate all the heartwarming comments and questions and the interest that people have taken in our relationship. We both have such a strong support system in our family, friends, and carers, and the fact that people can see our true happiness through the photos and posts we upload is the biggest compliment of all.
However, every single day we hit more obstacles than the ‘normal’ relationship. We try to put on a brave face with smiling photos and only happiness portrayed in captions, but this is an honest space and I feel I should be showing you (from my perspective), just some of the challenges that are thrown in our way:
1. Distance
- Although not only applicable to us, the long distance just adds to the other complications we face. The looming 2nd lockdown will mean we won’t be able to see eachother, and I can only hope that it makes us stronger.
2. Illness
- Again, there are many couples, one of both having a medical illness or condition and this is the single thing that meant me and Sam started to talk in the first place so I can’t complain too much (!), but added/combined with the distance, the difficulty is starting to build. The unprecedented nature of both of our conditions; the uncertainty and fragility of both makes it so difficult to not worry, but you gradually grasp a way of placing it to the back of your mind and living life to the full, and living for today.
3. Carers
- This one definitely isn’t a complaint because I love my carers to pieces and am so grateful that they’re giving up so much of their time to take me away; where and when I want, and are the most lovely, understanding people in the world. However, mine and Sam’s care packages are set up very differently - meaning that our visits to see eachother (even day by day) - are often interrupted and/or cut short; another aspect to factor in to our planning as well as the distance and our medical conditions/needs.
4. Family
- Don’t get me wrong, we are both lucky that everyone on both sides of our families are so happy to see us so happy..but it’s a big adjustment for everyone. I’m sure Sam will agree (and won’t mind me saying) that a lot of people thought a relationship on his part wouldn’t even happen, and the state my health has been in for years was not a life fit for anyone or anything apart from me and my health (selfishly, maybe). However, the responsibility of handing over your child’s complex care, and also to build up enough trust within yourself to give us the freedom we both want and need is still not fully there, but will hopefully come with time.
These are just a few examples of our relationship being harder than the ‘norm’. It isn’t fair; but neither is life, and we have to focus on the positives and live our lives in the present and the way WE want to live them.
We both thank you all for your support and kind messages, again. It really makes us realise how lucky we are to have eachother, and we both love to read your comments, especially when times get tough👍🏻